I Can Do Anything Revisited

Some of you probably though I had given up on this blog. Honestly. I had lost my inspiration. I kept coming here and starting to click that new post button and write my heart out, but nothing would come. Especially after I told you about my hubby-- I didn't know how to compete! However, I was hit with with a thought as I was emailing Elder Dennis Squared.

Fist off, Elder Dennis Squared are my two brothers. Cameron is serving in Peru and he's got just under a year left, and Brandon is serving in the Philippines and he just left last August. Yes. I was a basket-case, but that's not the point. I am incredibly proud of them and I wouldn't want them to be in any other place. I try to email them once a week, and I'm usually pretty good about it. Most of the time I try to add a quote with it and my thoughts on it. When Cameron first went out I shared a message that I shared with Brandon once he was out. I've also shared this with you previously, but I wanted to readdress it and add some more thoughts.

 You can do anything for six months.

This was what my grandma told me when I vented to her about my struggles. And it's actually something I think about quite often, but with a little twist.

You can do anything for (insert time here). Whether that be one more minute of my workout, one more hour of my shift, one more day of the week, one more week before a break, etc. When I sent this to Elder Dennis Squared I really stressed changing the time. I know how much I struggle with going somewhere new, so I definitely can relate a little to them, but not really. I kept telling Brandon that he could do anything for a day or a month or a year (or two)! However, sometimes all we have strength for is the next minute. And after that minute is up tell yourself you can do it for one more. Before you know it, it will all be over and you won't know what hit you! So, here are my thoughts to you. Be the little engine that could...even if it's only one minute, or one second, at a time. With that attitude, anything is possible. :)

Life is Like a Camera

Have you ever made a decision in your life that you regret?

I know I have.

I also know that sometimes it's hard to move on from this--or to have others not be able to forgive you for your decisions. Sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to just stop and forget everything. However, this will not help us. Life is all about moving forward--progression, new adventures, accomplishing goals, educating ourselves, experiencing emotions, and enjoying every moment. I came across this quote a few months ago and haven't been able to let it go---and obviously I haven't had enough inspiration until now to share it with you.



We are constantly taking mental pictures, and, just like a real camera, we have images we want to keep and images we would rather not see again. We can always keep those positive images and look upon them with fond memories and share them. When we have negative images we must choose to learn from our mistake and move on. This is the hardest part. We can't let our own thoughts hinder our progression; however, we also can't let others opinions of our past hinder our progression. We will always be able to 'just take another shot.'

I've shared many times that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Through my church we learn of the Atonement that Jesus Christ performed in order for us to move on from our sins and be completely forgiven. I have used this saving power many times in my life, and I would like to testify to you all that it is true. Jesus Christ died for us because He loves us and wants us to have the ability to return to Him one day as a perfected being. I know that through the Atonement we can 'develop from our negatives...and take another shot.' We are not perfect, but we can become perfect through Christ.

Don't stress about past mistakes. We are meant to learn and become better people through decisions that we have made. You are worth everything; don't forget that. There is always room for more shots, and we can always look back on our positive images for motivation and great memories.

I Can Do Anything.

Remember how I went to Alaska?

Remember how I loved it?

Well...that love wasn't instantaneous.

Once upon a time I told you all about my issues with change. It's hard for me, and, since I've written that post, I've realized that it is something I will always struggle with. I can't get my mind to just be okay with it right off the bat. It takes a lot more time for me to be okay with something. 

Anywho...back to Alaska. 

Here I am, making a six-month commitment to live with people I didn't really know, work at a hotel with people I didn't know, live in a place I didn't know, on top of getting there in a 49 hour (just driving) car ride. Bytheway...the car ride was with someone I knew, but that's a heck of a long drive! Needless to say I was a little <caughlotcaugh> overwhelmed. However, I followed my little change routine and I went. 

Can I just say I cried when I got to the Johnson's house? I literally got out, gave Alicia a hug, and balled my eyes out...while the missionaries were there! Needless to say I was not ready to be in the Land of the Midnight Sun. At. All. However, I couldn't just turn my back on everything, so I went ahead to begin my adventures. 

You're probably thinking that I quickly learned to love it up there. That is not the case. My first week of work was overwhelming, and the tours hadn't even started yet. Once those started I was like a chicken with its head cut off. People were grumpy, I was still learning, and I still hadn't adjusted to my new home. My mom had told me that I needed to give it at least a month before I gave up, and I was giving it a valiant effort. I instantly loved the people I lived with, but they had already started to try and get me to commit to the summer of 2014.

HA. Yeah right.

Thus began, what I thought would be, the longest six months of my life. Now you're probably wondering what the point of this story is. I have a problem with talking a lot--and that goes right into writing a lot. So, deal with the length or just move on to the next blog. I promise I won't be offended :)

Technology is an amazing thing. It kept me in touch with loved ones and friends, and I relied upon it heavily. Which got me in trouble when my nephew was born...but that's a whole other story. I remember calling my Grandma Esther after I had been in Alaska for a couple weeks to just catch up. Of course, I got into talking about how I was struggling and not sure it I could make it through the summer (I'm a wimp...I know). My Grandma is awesome. She understood why I was struggling, but she did not think my mindset of 'not being able to make it' was good enough. As I continued to vent to her she stopped me and said, "Courtney, you can do anything for six months."

I agreed and we finished out conversation, and I continued to be caught up in my change-crisis. After a couple more weeks I really thought about what she said.

You can do anything for six months.

I tend to shorten that into, you can do anything; no matter what comes your way, you can do it. And that is when I started loving Alaska--after a whole month of pretty much committing to the worst summer ever.

And guess what? I'm going back for summer of 2014.

Want to know what's even crazier? I'm getting my CDL to be a tour guide and drive a HUGE bus. 

And...I'm going to love it.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

 Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

I hope that you are all familiar with Dr. Seuss. If not, you probably want to work on that one. I've always loved Dr. Seuss, and I even tried to get a scholarship through a Dr. Seuss essay. It actually was on the book that I quoted above, Oh, the Places You'll Go! Recently I've been redirected to this book and it's really helped me to keep things in perspective.

A little over a month ago I moved to Alaska to work for the summer. It was difficult for me to come here hardly knowing anybody and be required to make the most of it. I'm not very good at being social and putting myself out there, so making friends was a little hard, and I was sinking into a little pit of despair. I talked with my parents often, and the one day my dad suggested I reread Oh, the Places You'll Go!, and apply it to my life. Many times this book is given at graduations to inspire people to go anyway that they choose, and that is really the only part I remembered about it. That's not a bad thing, but there is a lot more to the story than just choosing you're own direction. You're encouraged to aim high and be the best.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.

You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.

Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

However, I feel like the book is also realistic when it comes to life. Because who can be the best always? I know some of us would raise our hand if asked that question in a public atmosphere, but, honestly, I don't believe there's one person in this world who doesn't have doubts.

Except when you don't.

Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true

that Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

can happen to you.

Isn't that true? Coming to Alaska was a bang-up for me at first. I was liking it here, but I wasn't sure I would be able to really become involved and love my time here. Then I thought to myself, Courtney. You. Are. Ridiculous. Seriously, you're in ALASKA. You drove here, and you have a great opportunity to make new friends, discover new things about yourself, and live in a beautiful place! How can you be negative about life when you are experiencing things you will look back on and never regret! Some people never have the chance to travel and see the world, and you're complaining because you are? Where is the sense in that?

So, I decided to be more positive. When things were looking down, I would find two things that were looking up. I tried to be more out-going so that I could make new friends. I decided to love everyday here for one reason or another. And you know what? It worked. It took me a while to get into the swing of things, but I did it. I won't say I'm perfect and I know everything and anything about Fairbanks, but I love it here. I've made a few friends that have helped me be more positive about me and to not be afraid of putting myself out there. I've found places that I love, and I continue to explore and love more things. I've told a few people back home that they should be thankful the mosquitoes are huge and the winter is horrible, because I would probably end up staying here if they weren't. :)

I mean, this is seriously what I get to see everyday. The sun is constantly up, there's always somebody who wants to have fun, and it's finally warm! I also have gotten to live with some great people, and become closer with Whitney. I mean, we see each other all of the time, so we share everything. Sometimes, it's a little crazy, but I love it.

Things may get rough, but there is always something to love. If you focus on the bright side, then the dark side will be out-shined.

Kid, you'll move mountains!

Alaskan Adventures

Hello! It's been a while, and I have been BUSY!! I moved to Alaska to work for the summer. My friend Whitney and I got jobs up here and hopped into the car and drove 49 hours to get to the little town of Fairbanks. We've been here for a few days and we start work today, which I'm a little nervous for but it will be good!

I was definitely nervous coming up here, and I kept stressing over everything. Right before I left my mom showed me this quote...

 

I think this is great because it is SO true (at least for me it is). I really try hard to enjoy each day as it comes, but I usually get hung up on the future and what it has in store for me and how my decisions now are going to affect everything later...and so on. However, I need to remember that I need to find joy in the journey. If I don't do that, then there is no point in living because we will just be worrying our days away.

Approach each new day with the attitude that everyday is an adventure. If you start out like this then you can't help but focus on the day and what's happening all around you. Don't forget the finish line, just remember to enjoy getting there. We have all the time in the world to reach the end; life isn't a race. Which reminds me of a quote from one of the apostles from my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

So get out there, and have fun enjoying your journeys!

Everything will be alright

Pretty much I've come to the conclusion that nothing stays the same. Shocker, right? I know it's taken me a while to figure this out, but we all know how I deal with change. I like to believe that everything will just stay the same. Obviously there will be little changes and I can manage that, but, of course, I always get proven wrong and HUGE changes come my way constantly. I'm slowly becoming okay with this, and I'm a little more willing to accept change head on. Slowly being the key word. However, along with my realization of nothing staying the same, I've realized that things will be okay in the end.

 

I like how this quote words it. When we go through struggles we always say everything will be alright. Everything is going to work out and we will get through this. However, just because we get through it doesn't mean that everything will be just as it was when we started. I know that's a simple phrase, and it seems really obvious, but I think it's important for us to recognize this in our lives. Things change and that's alright. :)

Who Moved My Cheese?

At the beginning of last semester I shared my reaction to change. I don't like it and I usually approach it with hesitancy. My dad has been advising me to read a certain book that talks about change. I'll admit, I wasn't too excited to read a book about change. I figured it would be boring, and that I wouldn't be able to really glean anything from it. This book is called Who Moved My Cheese?, and I'll be honest, the name didn't exactly make me want to read it either.

I mean, it seemed a little cheesy... no pun intended.

However, this semester I finally buckled down and read it...it took me about 45 minutes, and I felt like it was definitely worth my time. I don't want to give the whole story away, because this post would be a lot longer than you want to read. I just want to recommend it to you. If you ever feel like you are resistant to change (and let's be honest, who isn't?), you should read this book. It really put things into perspective for me, and I think everybody would benefit from reading it.

Although I don't want to retell the story here for you, I do want to share the insights that it gave me. One of the characters, Haw, writes his words of wisdom down as he is dealing with change. If you don't ever read the book, I think it would be good to at least see these thoughts.

Lost...

At the end of my last post I mentioned how I'm a little confused in life at the moment. There are so many options, and, at moments, I feel like no direction is offered.

This pretty much sums up my feelings on the whole issue.

Now, this post is not to inform you of my sudden inspiration of figuring everything out. It's more of a comfort post for hopefully more than me. I started school this week (one week down!) and I'm in a Doctrine and Covenants 2nd half class. Our first reading assignment was sections 77-81, and I read through them without looking for anything specific. However, I reached section 79 and I started paying a little more attention, and it has helped me out a lot this week; specifically verse 2-3...

"(2) And I will send upon him the Comforter, which shall teach him the truth and the way whither he shall go; (3) And inasmuch as he is faithful, I will crown him again with sheaves."

I wasn't quite sure what being "crowned with sheaves" meant, so I looked it up through the Latter-day Saint website. The first help I came across was in the D&C institute manual;

"Anciently, grain was cut by hand and tied into large bundles or sheaves which were then carried to the place of threshing. To see a person or an animal “laden with many sheaves” ( D&C 75:5 ) was proof that the person had reaped an abundant harvest and would now enjoy the fruits of his labors"

So my interpretation of these verses is this... if we are faithful and doing the best that we can, the Lord is going to comfort us. He is going to provide us with direction, and we will be blessed and "enjoy the fruits of our labors."

I may not know where I'm exactly going in life, but I know that I am going to be faithful to my Heavenly Father. I know that He loves me and will provide me with direction, and although I may have trails I will be able come out on top and enjoy the blessings that will be given to me.

I hope that this post provides a little comfort for you all. We are not alone, and all we need to do is rely on the Lord. 

Change.

Those that know me will already agree with what I'm about to say (especially if your names are Mom or Dad ;) ).

I hate change.

No...not the kind of change that I put in my piggy bank... the kind of change that means you are going to have to do something different in your life. Now I'm not afraid to make little changes in my life; getting up earlier, eating something different, buying clothes, and the list could go on for a while. I hate the kind of changes that are going to alter your life direction.

Here I am doing just fine on my little road of life when this sign shows up. Change? Wait. I don't need to change. This road is going just as it needs to... I don't need to get off that exit. No worries enter my mind until I keep seeing the sign and then I start to understand that change is the only way to go. Denial is usually how I deal with this. What!? I'm not ready to change!! Maybe I'll be okay staying the way I am... I mean, it's gotten me this far hasn't it?? Yeah, that's right. I'm going to be fine on my little road. However, as the miles pass behind I slowly start to realize that change is inevitable. I keep cruising along thinking about how different things are going to be when my worst fears are confirmed.

I really have no choice about this exit and it's coming up too fast for me. Now saying that this is my worst fear is a little over-exaggerated. I know change isn't going to kill me, and I know it's for the best. In fact, while I was coming to the conclusion that change is inevitable I considered everything that will be positive from this experience, how much I will benefit, what I will get to see and who I will get to meet. Logically, I can understand why I want the change and I'm almost okay with it until I almost reach the turning point.

Okay. This is really happening. This... this is really happening. There's no way I can stall now and I'm pretty sure that I am not going to be able to handle this. Breaking point begins. I'm usually a mess and I can't keep myself under control and I hate it. Remember the part about being able to think through all the positive things logically? Yeah, pretty much I feel like that part of my brain decides to malfunction.

I take the exit and lots of new things bombard me and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. However, pretty soon I start to get the hang of things and I'm okay with the changes. In fact, I even start to enjoy them.

Now, I'm writing this post right before the start of a new semester, new roommates, new apartment, new classes, and me not even being sure where I am in life right now. Do I want to change my major? Go to a different school? Country? Let's be honest. I have no idea, and I don't plan on figuring it out right now. But I know those change signs are going to come up in my life and right now I'm ready for them. Right before the exit...not so much, that whole malfunctioning will kick back in and I'll be a wreck. However, it's for my own good...right?